“Here We Go Again”: A Federal Judge Just…

Supporters outside the last abortion clinic in Mississippi in 2013. Suzi Altman/Zuma “Here we go again.” So begins the preliminary injunction by US District Judge Carlton Reeves, who on Friday blocked a six-week abortion ban…

ICE Agent Can’t Believe He Being Reprimanded For…

CASA PADRE, TX—Saying the incident was so long ago that he had difficulty recalling the girl’s face, ICE agent Ed Thornton couldn’t believe he was being reprimanded Friday for a child who died months ago.…

Ed Sheeran Releasing Collaborative Album

Ed Sheeran announced his new album, No.6 Collaborations Project, a collection of new tracks created with numerous guest collaborators, including Chance the Rapper, PnB Rock, and Justin Bieber. What do you think? “What a cool…

Nancy Pelosi Slams Edited Footage With Claim That…

WASHINGTON—Denying that there was any factual basis to the doctored footage shared by President Trump that suggested she was intoxicated, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi blasted the viral video clip Friday by claiming that you’ll fucking…

Statue of Liberty Museum lets you check her…

“Head, shoulders, knees and toes … knees and toes … eyes and ears and mouth and nose … ” I couldn’t help thinking of the children’s ditty while visiting the new Statue of Liberty Museum,…

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Facebook has Shown 2.4 Million Users a Doctored…

Chesnot/Getty Images Facebook is letting a video of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) manipulated to make it appear as though she’s drunk or otherwise unwell stay on its platform even after YouTube has opted to…

Tyson Holds Contest To Let Fans Submit New…

SPRINGDALE, AR—Announcing that the winner would receive a year’s supply of their frozen poultry products killed in their method of choosing, Tyson Foods unveiled a contest Thursday to let fans submit new ideas for torturing…

Jay Inslee Recalls Decision To Run For President…

OLYMPIA, WA—Explaining to reporters how he had arrived at the difficult decision, 2020 Democratic presidential candidate Jay Inslee recalled Thursday choosing to enter the race after five teenagers from countries across the globe pressed their…

Song Banged Out In Half Hour By Professional…

LOS ANGELES—Working at a clip only slightly faster than usual, a team of professional songwriters spent a half hour banging out a new song that will define local teenager Destiny Cibula’s personality for the next…

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Urban Outfitters Introducing Clothing Rental Service

Clothing store Urban Outfitters will introduces a service called Nuuly where, for $88 dollars per month, a customer can rent six items of clothes to wear and return. What do you think? “This business model…

Depressed LeBron James Realizes That At His Age…

LOS ANGELES—Experiencing an existential crisis after comparing accomplishments, a depressed LeBron James, 34, realized Monday that at his age Nicolaus Copernicus was already developing his groundbreaking theory of heliocentrism. “Jesus, all my life up to…

Chicago Authorities Free Over 2,000 Southpaws From Illegal…

CHICAGO—In what authorities are calling the largest underground anthropomorphic-monster-breeding bust in several decades, the Chicago Police Department freed over 2,000 Southpaws Friday from an illegal White Sox mascot mill on the city’s southwest side. “We…

McDonald’s To Add Global Items To Food Menu

In a shakeup to their U.S. menu, McDonald’s plans to begin selling offerings from around the globe, including the Stroopwafel McFlurry from the Netherlands, the Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger from Spain, and Australia’s Cheesy Bacon…

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Explore the new North Fork: The buzziest hotels,…

Sweet Stays The Menhaden. Erin Farley Photography0 Two new hotels (and another glam inn update) are debuting on the North Fork this season, placing the destination firmly on the New York City weekender’s map. The Menhaden (from…