Cousin Really Going All-In On Retweeting Porn Stars

BOONVILLE, MO—Noting that his 28-year-old relative was apparently comfortable making his predilections known to the world at large, local account executive Conner Burke observed Wednesday that his cousin Bradley was “going all-in” on retweeting porn…

Pros And Cons Of Noise-Canceling Headphones

Noise-canceling headphones are increasingly popular, but many people think they’re not worth the purchase. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of buying noise-canceling headphones. PRO Closest you’ll ever get to having a private…

I Am An Affront To God

A Hot Air Balloon Look at me, I’m flying! I’m floating up into the sky. Higher and higher I go, above the rooftops and the trees! Up, up, up! Can you see me? Tilt your…

Bravo stars celebrate ‘RHOC’ alum Gretchen Rossi at…

Guests at Gretchen Rossi's baby shower. Courtesy Photo Slade Smiley, Patti Stanger and Gretchen Rossi Courtesy Photo Scheana Marie and Gretchen Rossi Courtesy Photo Phaedra Parks and Gretchen Rossi take the dance floor. Courtesy photo…

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Mom Guesses Dressbarn Closure Means She’ll Just Have…

HAMMOND, IN—Saying Dressbarn’s sudden closure had left her bereft of stylish-yet-modest clothing options, local mom Susan Bell reportedly guessed Tuesday that she’ll just have to go shop with all those sluts over at Chico’s now.…

Trump Demands Investigation Into Whether Clintons Gave Him…

WASHINGTON—Explaining that such a miscarriage of justice would not be tolerated under his watch, President Donald Trump reportedly demanded a federal investigation Monday into whether Bill and Hillary Clinton gave him a non-registry wedding gift…

A woman asked Elizabeth Warren for help with…

  Tuesday May 21, 2019 · 12:36 PM PDT 2019/05/21 · 12:36 In recent months, Elizabeth Warren has rolled out one plan after another—from health care to military housing to holding big banks and pharmaceutical…

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Open thread for night owls: An impeachment inquiry…

Charles P. Pierce at Esquire writes—Nancy Pelosi Must Defend the Essential Integrity of the Constitution: On Tuesday morning, on the electric Twitter machine, I saw a picture that was both remarkable, and remarkably sad. Congressman…

Cartoon: The secret immigrant agenda

  Wednesday May 22, 2019 · 4:50 AM PDT 2019/05/22 · 04:50 {{backgroundUrl avatar_large}} Joined: {{created_at}} Story Count: {{n_stories}} Comment Count: {{n_comments}} Popular Tags: {{showTags popular_tags}} {{#each badges}} {{badgeUrl .}} {{/each}} {{authorSig user_sig}} {{/unless}} {{/if}}…

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3 quirky homes for sale in the Hamptons

The Hamptons are where visionary designers and their benefactors come together to create daring homes. Notable among them is Bioscleave House at 113 Springy Banks Road in East Hampton. Completed in 2008, the 2,700-square-foot house…