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Polite Disney World Guest Decides Not To Bother…

‘He’s Probably Really Busy,’ Says Respectful Man ORLANDO, FL—In an effort to respect the privacy of the world-famous star, considerate Disney World guest Eric Daniels decided Thursday that, despite being a huge fan of Mickey…

Tips For Playing ‘Rage 2’

Rage 2 is out now, giving gamers the chance to shoot, splatter, and slice our way through hordes of mutants on the path to saving the world. Excited? Then here are the Onion Gamers Network’s…

Trump Warns China Not To Underestimate His Willingness…

WASHINGTON—Stating that he would be sticking to his guns regardless of the consequences, President Trump warned China in a White House press briefing Thursday that its leaders should not underestimate his willingness to sacrifice the…

Trump’s state visit to England expected to be…

Enlarge Image Donald Trump with his family, including wife Melania, daughter Tiffany Trump, son Donald Trump Jr., daughter Ivanka Trump, and son Eric Trump. Standing In the front row are Kai Trump and Donald Trump…

Sen. Warren demands answers from CBP commissioner following…

Saying that supposed Trump administration-led reforms that should have better ensured the well-being of migrant children in federal immigration custody “are failing” following the death of yet another migrant child, Sen. Elizabeth Warren wants answers.…

Cory Booker promises to take executive action to…

  Wednesday May 22, 2019 · 8:44 AM PDT 2019/05/22 · 08:44 Cory Booker, the Democratic senator from New Jersey and 2020 hopeful, released a statement to the Huffington Post promising to protect reproductive rights…

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Open thread for night owls. Covering the climate…

“Covering Climate Now” has debuted. It’s a project co-sponsored by the Columbia Journalism Review and The Nation to which other media and journalists are being invited. The objective is simple: Bring together journalists and news venues to improve—“dramatically…

Tour the gorgeous home of jewelry designer to…

Illustrious jewelry designer Tara Maria Famiglietti (whose A-list clients include Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Gisele Bündchen, Jessica Alba and Ali MacGraw, to name a few) and her husband, musician Matt White, don’t remember exactly when it…

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The First Big Democratic Primary Challenge of 2020…

Shannon Liss-Riordan speaks to reporters in AprilBill Green/Boston Globe/Getty Labor lawyer Shannon Liss-Riordan announced this week that she is running for the U.S. Senate, challenging incumbent Massachusetts Senator Ed Markey in next year’s Democratic primary…

Cousin Really Going All-In On Retweeting Porn Stars

BOONVILLE, MO—Noting that his 28-year-old relative was apparently comfortable making his predilections known to the world at large, local account executive Conner Burke observed Wednesday that his cousin Bradley was “going all-in” on retweeting porn…

Bravo stars celebrate ‘RHOC’ alum Gretchen Rossi at…

Guests at Gretchen Rossi's baby shower. Courtesy Photo Slade Smiley, Patti Stanger and Gretchen Rossi Courtesy Photo Scheana Marie and Gretchen Rossi Courtesy Photo Phaedra Parks and Gretchen Rossi take the dance floor. Courtesy photo…

Mom Guesses Dressbarn Closure Means She’ll Just Have…

HAMMOND, IN—Saying Dressbarn’s sudden closure had left her bereft of stylish-yet-modest clothing options, local mom Susan Bell reportedly guessed Tuesday that she’ll just have to go shop with all those sluts over at Chico’s now.…

Trump Demands Investigation Into Whether Clintons Gave Him…

WASHINGTON—Explaining that such a miscarriage of justice would not be tolerated under his watch, President Donald Trump reportedly demanded a federal investigation Monday into whether Bill and Hillary Clinton gave him a non-registry wedding gift…