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Sofia Vergara chows down on cake and more…

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Trump Pulling U.S. Troops From Northern Syria

In a move that foreign policy experts have criticized as abandoning Kurdish allies and potentially escalating the region’s conflicts, President Trump announced plans to pull all U.S. troops from Northern Syria as Turkey readies a…

Dog Takes Pilgrimage To Holy Site Where It…

COLUMBUS, OH—Compelled by a power greater than himself to leave his beloved home and tread the path of all-surpassing glory, Sawyer, a 4-year-old Jack Russell Terrier, set off Wednesday on a pilgrimage to that selfsame…

Job-Hunting Jay Gruden Frantically Scrubs Social Media Of…

ANNAPOLIS, MD—Worried that the humiliating posts would destroy his future employment opportunities, a frantic, job-hunting Jay Gruden scrubbed his social media this week of anything associated with the Redskins. “If anyone sees these photos of…

Timeline Of Healthcare In America

Fierce debate over healthcare policy among Democrats and efforts to erode Obamacare by Republicans continue to shine a spotlight on the state of medical care in the U.S., and it’s important to understand how we…

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Skip Bayless Slams History Of Chinese Post-Opium War…

LOS ANGELES—Emphasizing that the Five Principles of Peaceful Coexistence were completely useless in a globalized economy, Fox Sports host Skip Bayless spent six hours on Undisputed Wednesday slamming China’s history of intervention anxiety in the…

Man Starting To Think He Didn’t Win 1995…

PROVIDENCE, RI—Vowing to never give up hope, local man Mark Prasad admitted Tuesday that he’s starting to think he didn’t win the Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes 1995 sweepstakes for a free trip to the Australian Outback.…

GOP Lawmakers Watch Silently As Trump Strangles Each…

WASHINGTON—Opting to take more of a wait-and-see approach instead of rushing to pass judgment, Republican lawmakers reportedly looked on in silence Tuesday as President Trump worked his way through each of their families and, one…

New Supreme Court Term To Take On Issues…

The Supreme Court reconvened this week to render verdicts on issues that will touch on several significant facets of American society including Roe v. Wade, gun rights, and discrimination protections for LGBTQ individuals. What do…

Chinese Officials Respond To NBA Controversy By Moving…

BEIJING—On the heels of recent pro-Hong Kong comments by Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey, Chinese officials responded to the criticism Tuesday by moving millions of Chinese citizens to NHL re-fanification camps. “To show that China…

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Megan Mullally on her marriage to Nick Offerman,…

As one of our era’s most masterful comedic actresses, Megan Mullally is clearly familiar with the whole celebrity-interview trope. A star wafts into such-and-such swanky restaurant, orders a burger, effuses “realness.” So when Mullally steps…